A Firm Believer
When I began keeping a gratitude journal in February 1995, I was 29 years old and in my first years of recovery from alcoholism. I was stuck in self-pity—something that had been my default thinking mode since I was a little girl, lacking attention and emotional nurturing. Add alcohol and I became pretty adept at beating myself up.
My friend Terrie gave me my first gratitude journal, along with a gentle push to start appreciating what I already have- that I already am and have enough-and not dwelling as much on what makes me feel “less than” and “not good enough.” Finding gratefulness became a turning point in my recovery, and today living gratefully remains the most transformative practice in my life.
It didn’t happen overnight. It takes effort. I don’t live in a perpetual state of peace and grace. Who among us does? I do live with more energy, thanks to that generated by the presence and appreciation stemming from grateful living practices and mindful meditation. I do live with kinder thoughts in my head and deeper self-compassion in my heart. I believe that allows me to better extend kindness and compassion to others, and to the natural world.
Today, I am 57 years old. My recovery from alcoholism continues daily. My ongoing health, 14 years after a breast cancer diagnosis, also continues. Both diseases could have killed me, and still could. Just for today, I open myself to the opportunity to live fully in these next hours. Living fully doesn’t mean full speed ahead all day. It means pauses, deep breaths, words, emotions felt both in my heart and in my body.
When the tough stuff comes along-and it will because that is life-I can bring more resilience to the situation because my head and heart have been softened to a more pliable state allowing forgiveness and healing.
November brings a focus on gratitude and plenty of good reading about ideas, resources, and the growing body of scientific research that supports what I will loosely call the field of “positive psychology.” (My unscientific, but well-seasoned, definition of this is “focusing on what is going well instead of looking for what is not going well.”)
Experience is the best teacher, and mine over the last three decades, including some of the most difficult times in my life, leaves me a firm believer in noting what I can be thankful for today. That begins with a pause, precious and present.
If you wish to read more, check out these resources:
Five Myths About Gratitude from the Greater Good Science Center and Robert Emmons, Ph.D., considered the world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude.
Sharing God's Grace from Richard Rohr’s Center for Action and Contemplation and author Diana Butler Bass.
And from Grateful Living , a recent WORD FOR THE DAY:
Choosing to have joy is not naively thinking everything will be easy. It is courageously believing that there is still hope, even when things get hard. -Morgan Harper Nichols-
I use the words joy and gratitude interchangeably. Throw in some grace and the recipe delivers beautiful sustenance.
