Daily Liberation
One day at a time. Twenty-four hours. Just for today. As a recovering alcoholic, these are phrases that guide me and remind me to be present. Living gratefully complements this quite well. In the here and now is where gratefulness resides. In the hours of the day at hand is where I do the daily work for daily recovery from alcoholism.
Excessive drinking used to be my escape from myself and the toxic thoughts that ran rampant in my alcoholic mind. Those thoughts were loaded with lack, self-pity, perfectionism and other deeply damaging self-hatred. It takes time and effort to move from that as my default to a more loving, accepting, and gentle mind. And the tricky part, as any addict knows on some level, but others may not ever understand, is that the toxic mind never leaves entirely. It lurks around the corner, waiting for an opening.
Thus, daily work for a daily disease. The lurker stays in the shadows when I stay in the light. Meditation, journaling, talking with others in recovery, having good boundaries, running and walking, writing poetry, doing spoken word/open mic events, practicing grateful living and sharing it with those closest to me and in wider circles—these are all examples of the work I do. And they help me be far more than physically sober. They bring emotional balance, mental clarity, and spiritual growth.
On many days, this “work” doesn’t feel like work. It is freeing. Discipline doesn’t bind, it releases.
Some days are diamonds, some days are stones. Life lobs and hurls curve balls my way, but better life throwing me life than me throwing myself under the bus. Daily work means daily liberation and good energy. Daily work brings presence and a sense of time that is manageable; not driven by regrets, fears, and unreasonable expectations.
So when I went for a run the other day, in a brisk wind, and with a fairly clear mind and heart, this flag blowing in the breeze caught my attention. I stopped to look and listen. I felt the waves as much as I saw and heard them. This national symbol of freedom and liberation was my own symbol that day.
Just like our flag and what it represents need protecting, my daily liberation needs to be safeguarded. The best buffer between me and a flare-up of alcoholic thinking starts in this moment. And it continues when I look outside of myself and see that I am not alone. This flag, the breeze, my senses—we all shared “freedom from” so we could experience “freedom to.” Freedom to live fully and gratefully, just for today.
