The Stuff of Life
My husband Darcy and I are celebrating our 28th wedding anniversary today. Happy Anniversary dear!
July 30 was a Thursday in 1998 as well. You could say that we had a whirlwind courtship. We got married nine months after we met. Our wedding came together quickly. We were initially going to wait a year or more until I was done with grad school, but why wait when you know you want to be together and start creating a life together? So we decided on Monday of that week in 1998 that we would get married on Thursday evening. It all fell into place and we were married at 8:30 p.m. in the beautiful gardens at Upper Tuthill Park in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. That is it’s own story for another time.
This past weekend, we had a family reunion on my mom’s side. She was one of ten siblings, with my Aunt Helen being the sole survivor now. Helen turned 90 in June. There are 55 cousins in my generation, and we were well-represented at the reunion. The next two generations had some young ones in attendance as well. From ninety years old to just a few months old. It was fun and meaningful and over far too quickly. I had heartfelt conversations with cousins I hadn’t seen in many years. I saw our younger selves in the eyes and smiles, and acknowledged our older selves and the decades of life that have brought the lines to our faces and joy and sadness to our hearts. A lived life tends to deliver both the splendor and the shatterings. There are so many stories within the wider story of our family history.
My siblings and I also spent several days going through our mom’s “stuff”—from furnishings and wall art, to kitchen items and keepsakes, from canning jars to holiday decorations. She had already given us some things over the years, but there was plenty to sort through, clean up, and either discard, donate, or deliver into the hands of the sibling who wished to give it a new purpose. It was heavy lifting of the physical and emotional kinds, but it also brought levity, of the heart and laughter kinds. We were productive which, for a family that prides itself on work ethic, felt satisfying and gratifying. Mom and Dad would be proud of our efforts, and how we maintained kind consideration of one another throughout the process. Nice work “Gertie’s Gang.”
If we begin to get in touch with whatever we feel with some kind of kindness,
our protective shells will melt, and we’ll find that more areas of our lives are workable.
-Pema Chödrön-
We often think that vulnerability is a kind of weakness,
but there’s a kind of vulnerability that is actually strength and presence.
-Ram Dass-
These quotes from Grateful Living’s “Word for the Day” landed on my heart in recent days as well. The stuff of life is deeply meaningful and rich in ways no money can buy. It is our vulnerability that opens doors and builds connections. Here’s a picture of Darcy and I wearing our reunion shirts. My heart is full and lighter today. A special thank you to my siblings and other family members who shared in the work, the hospitality, and the conversations. Onward!
