Audre Lorde, Pink, and a List

The following words are a compilation from previous writings since my own breast cancer diagnosis in 2008. I have written many essays, posts, and poems about breast cancer, pink ribbons, and how our culture perceives (or wants to perceive) women and the breast cancer experience.

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I first read Audre Lorde's book The Cancer Journals a few months after my own bilateral mastectomies. I was still grieving, healing, and coming to terms. I was also processing many emotions, one of which was a nebulous form of anger regarding society's view of women and breasts. I had chosen not to have reconstruction, and I do not regret that choice, but I felt judged for it.

Certainly, part of that was my own self-consciousness, a limited acceptance at that point, and some residual anger that cancer had entered my right breast and my life. But it also stemmed from a culture saturated in pink and cleavage and women and our breasts being objectified.

So when I read Lorde's book, something crystallized in my thoughts and emotions. I captured some of that in this guest post on Nancy Stordahl's blog "Nancy's Point" in October of 2012. The post is titled "The Sum of All My Parts" and here is a portion of what I wrote:

A few months after my mastectomies, a friend recommended the book The Cancer Journals by Audre Lorde (1980). She writes about returning to the doctor after her mastectomy and being chastised by a nurse because she hadn’t worn her prosthesis and that would be bad for morale.

Whose morale?

Diminish the individual and indicate that you know what is best for her better than she does. How dare you! (But this seems like what we are doing to one another and ourselves in the current breast cancer awareness movement.)

I remember being angered by what happened to Audre Lorde in that doctor’s office and feeling a level of acceptance for my own choices because of that anger. I also thank Lorde, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1978 and died of metastasized cancer in 1992, for these words:

“If we are to translate the silence surrounding breast cancer into language and action against this scourge, then the first step is that women with mastectomies must become visible to one another. For silence and invisibility go hand in hand with powerlessness.”

Lorde's words empowered me to accept my own circumstances, and to also be a different kind of breast cancer advocate than the pink-ribbon wearing, ta-ta sisterhood variety. This has all made a significant difference in my years post-cancer diagnosis.

We have been lulled into some false sense of progress regarding breast cancer. Certainly, there have been advances in treatment. But when it comes to the ultimate goals of curing the cancer people already have and preventing others from getting it, we have been seriously sidetracked by pink stuff to buy, misleading pictures of triumphant warriors in pink, and efforts to save body parts with catchy names.

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Now, it is 2026. My sister Mary Jo died of metastatic breast cancer in 2019. Two close friends have had recurrences. I tune in less to Pinktober. Sadly, not a lot has changed. The key statistic is how many women die of breast cancer each year in this country. It hasn’t gone down from the 40,000 plus it has been for decades. There are many wonderful advocates out there and some genuine awareness programs, but too many that aren’t all that helpful. That’s a rant for another day.

It’s 2026. I am here. Mary Jo is not. Audre Lorde is not. My cancer experience was, and remains, a catalyst for my writing. My living gratefully practices are the same. They all serve to energize me for the day ahead. So I especially appreciated it when I recently saw these words from Audre Lorde, bringing my cancer story and my living gratefully story together:

“We are all more blind to what we have than to what we have not.”

(from Grateful Living's Word for the Day)

That’s where the list comes in. A gratitude list for today, for what I have:

*A flat chest I accept and scars I honor.

*Prosthetics when I choose to wear them.

*Another morning waking up next to my husband Darcy.

*A snuggle with our puppy Gracie.

*Our son’s upcoming wedding to look forward to.

*Overall physical health that allows me to move freely.

*Daily recovery from alcoholism.

*Spoken word opportunities.

*Good energy—of the mental, emotional, and spiritual varieties.

*The day ahead, loaded with opportunities and awe and grace to discover.

*Audre Lorde’s book to hold in my hands.