“I Hate Gratitude”
I thought that title might catch your attention. It was an anonymous comment left on my “Habitual Gratitude” blog. I moderate comments, so this one didn’t make the published list, but it did make my list of “Why?”
Once in a while a comment like that one will show up. A couple other examples include: “I’d rather die of Ebola than be forced to practice gratitude,” “you gratitude preachers know NOTHING about humility” and “DIE!DIE!” repeated dozens of times. It’s pretty safe to say that whoever typed these, or whatever algorithm saw gratitude as a bad word, never took time to read what my posts actually say.
These types of comments are uncommon, but disheartening every time I see one. I send a prayer and healing energy out to the person on the other end. They must be hurting, hateful, angry for some reason. I ponder a response. First, there would be sadness, but then I would strike back with something like “Tell me why you hate gratitude and what else is on your hate list because it must be long.” “Nobody is forcing you to do anything here.” “#1 I’m not a preacher. #2 Please tell me about your understanding of humility. I’m all ears and I have a lot to learn.“ Maybe I would then ask each one: “Are you breathing? Has anything happened today that went well for you? Anything you appreciate about nature?”
Perhaps they are bitter because they see gratitude as debt. You gave me something or did something for me and now I am obligated to thank you and maybe do something in return. Some people don’t like feeling indebted. It’s pressure. It might make them feel less-than in some ways. It may be just one more thing on a busy day. In that case, it is likely that they also didn’t take time to fully notice the giver and receive the gift.
I do find the word gratitude to be limiting. It is most often defined as this reciprocal aspect of gifts and favors. Gratefulness is a much broader concept and is free of the idea of some sort of balance sheet. Gratefulness is opening my eyes, breathing, stepping outside and hearing the birds. It is always present when I am present. Living gratefully is putting into practice, and it does take practice, this perception of the boundless gifts and energy that are free to all of us by virtue of being alive.
Certainly, I am not always grateful, and there are times when I scoff at the idea of finding something positive in a situation pretty loaded with negative. Still, my belief in living gratefully is unwavering, so these comments don’t bother me on my own gratefulness level. They concern me on the level of shared humanity though.
The materialistic, competitive, and polarized society that we find ourselves in creates a shallow pool for gratefulness. More-more-more. Not-good-enough, not-good-enough, not-good-enough. We can’t even agree to disagree. Looking at life with a grateful lens takes nothing more than a moment of awareness. It’s free between you and the universe. It starts a stream of generative energy flowing into that shallow pool. It matters, and can be as easy as looking up at the sky. Sometimes I feel like it is our only hope to turn the tide that is carrying us in some unhealthy directions.
