Intergenerational, Revisited

Living gratefully today, I appreciate our local garbage and recycling haulers. We hear the trucks all morning on Thursdays, and I am reminded of another thing I take for granted, but that improves our health and quality of life.

A couple weeks ago, I wrote a post-reunion post titled Intergenerational. Revisiting the word today, I turn to some of the more challenging features of a multiple-generation family. Things like physical and mental illnesses and addictions. Traits like impatient, loud, judgmental. I could be talking about any one of our families. We share eye colors, noses, smiles, and gaits. We may also share an inherited likelihood to be plagued by traits that are far less innocuous.

No need for details. We all have some family garbage. Some things worth recycling and some better left at the curb. Shake your own family tree and see what falls out. In my family, cancer, mental illnesses, and addictions populate some of the branches. Some aspects of each of these are likely due to heredity and environmental factors beyond our control. Nature will do what nature will do. Other aspects of each of these are also likely compounded by how we were nurtured when young, and how we learned to nurture ourselves (or not).

It’s good to know this side of family history too, so we can be aware, observant, cautious, proactive. And it’s worth acknowledging what wonderful good can come from unhealthy intergenerational patterns being broken. I know my parents love(d)me and all my siblings. The love I give my own son is different, more spoken and open.

I see the healthier aspects in my husband and our family. I see it in many ways in my generation and the next generations. I see it in many recovery friends and the repaired relationships they have. Forgiveness and healing go a long way. Both take effort, time, resilience. Not always easy, but well worth it.

Am I contributing to intergenerational healing or keeping an unhealthy pattern going? It’s a question worth asking ourselves from time to time. The picture with today’s post reminds us: Where are sturdier bridges needed? What bridges are decrepit, lead to nowhere good, and need to be demolished?

Have a good day, pausing to notice the gifts of community and family. I will be taking a blog break into early August. See you back here soon!