On a Spree

Consider the word spree. One definition is a spell or sustained period of unrestrained activity of a particular kind. The word came up in a discussion with some recovery friends. I went on plenty of drinking sprees. Some were fun, especially early on. They didn’t stay fun. Many ended in blackouts. I endangered others and myself. Hungover and full of remorse the next day, I would often vow to quit drinking. Inevitably, the next spree came. Eventually, so did recovery.

The disease of alcoholism is less about one’s drinking than it is about one’s thinking. Thinking sprees led to drinking sprees. Since my drinking has stopped, my challenge is to be on the lookout for thinking sprees. In my day-to-day recovery, which has now stretched into decades, I still fall prey to detrimental and dangerous thinking patterns. But there has been much progress and growth in this area too. Usually motivated by significant emotional pain, I keep doing the work and slowly but surely my thinking sprees have become less frequent and less debilitating.

Drinking sprees are distant memories. Thinking sprees are still a challenge. Not all sprees are to be avoided though. My life has been like one long writing spree. Journals, poems, blog posts, essays, more poems, more journals. And isn’t a marathon like a crazy running spree? The training it took to prepare for the seventeen marathons I ran, and each event itself, were stride-filled, endorphin-driven, carb-fueled sprees. Running and writing have saved me and shaped me in so many ways.

Unhealthy sprees are the unrestrained kind. Healthy sprees bring some limits and reasonable expectations. I have come to realize that even the healthy sprees are just that; sprees. I take breaks from running and walking to let my legs rest. I do minimal writing on some days so I can let ideas form. To help address my problem with overthinking, I am on a good spree of mindfulness and meditation practice. Self-hatred and self-pity fueled my drinking sprees. Self-awareness and self-compassion guide me now. At least that is my daily goal. Some days are better than others.

It might take a spree to motivate us to change our behavior or develop a habit. My grateful living practices began with a year-long spree of daily gratitude journaling. Our first sister poetry book began with a poem-a-day spree. We now have three books.

And I am sure grateful for our sun as it comes up for another day, to light our way and provide us life. Talk about a spree! The one the sun is on is amazing.

Consider the sprees that have defined your life, both unhealthy and healthy. Is there a healthy one you can spark today and see where it takes you? Enjoy the ride, but know when to slow down and reflect. Onward!