Two Lives
Remember, you have two lives. You get your second life when you realize you have only one.
-FRANK LIDDY-
Today’s “Word for the Day” at A Network for Grateful Living is one I don’t believe I have ever seen or read before. It was just what I needed this morning, as I reflect on another school year wrapping up. It was year 34 for me in schools, year 22 in my current school, serving as Middle School Counselor. Serving. At my school, we talk a lot about being of service and about servant leadership. We require our high school students to complete service requirements to graduate. Service opportunities are provided in various ways to all in our school community.
Serving. My job is to serve 6th, 7th, and 8th grade students as a support person in these areas: personal, academic, and social. In doing so, I also work with their parents and teachers, administrators, and other support staff. No two days are alike. No two students are the same. Serving has taken many forms for me over the last 22 years, and I have had career highlights and significant career challenges over those years. I can point to changes in leadership, schedules, and the social/cultural impacts of this ever-evolving world we live in as factors. But I am the common denominator. I am the one who shows up each day.
This has been a difficult year for me in several ways. It began with surgery and three weeks away from work. I missed the key first weeks of the new year and in ways played catch-up all year. That surgery—a hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo oopherectomy—impacted my energy level, along with my mental and emotional acuity. We also continue to adjust to what the COVID pandemic did to all of us.
I was already having feelings of ambivalence about my job in recent years, right along with several other aspects of my life that have been challenged by midlife muck and mire. I sometimes feel invisible at work. At first, that sounds pretty negative. And yet, I can also say that one of the areas of progress for me at work also stems from that same feeling. I am learning to step back so others can step up. I am waiting to be asked more, instead of feeling compelled to take the lead or make suggestions. There is liberation and a new energy in that, and a healthier work ego.
So, what does all this have to do with Frank Liddy’s quote? I sat down to write this post when I saw his words, putting aside the post idea I woke up with. In the writing, I found my way to some clarity and to what I can do that is most helpful. Put this school year behind me. Unburden from the what-ifs and not-good-enoughs and put my energy into today. I only have one life. I can’t afford, nor am I interested in, lugging yesterday into today. Regrets and remorse subside when I can reflect and rejuvenate with the gratefulness that arrives this morning. I take in a cloudy sky, birds singing, fresh air, and a fresh perspective. Today, this life. This one life.
