Progressive and Fatal
I do not at all understand the mystery of grace–only that it meets us where we are
but doesn’t leave us where it found us.
-ANNE LAMOTT-
Some recovery friends and I were talking about our disease—alcoholism/addiction—the other day, and the words progressive and fatal played prominently. For so many of us, our stories include the many, many times we attempted to quit using on our own. I recall many mornings, hungover and remorseful, vowing to never drink again. I may have made it a few weeks dry, and I may not have stayed sober that very night.
One time I did make it 464 Days . As I again read this post from my Habitual Gratitude blog, I was especially struck by these lines:
“When I finally started learning about the disease of alcoholism I found out that it is a progressive disease. Untreated alcoholism gets worse, with or without alcohol. My 464 dry drunk days had shown me that. It was a valuable lesson on my path to recovery, very valuable.”
Untreated alcoholism gets worse, with or without alcohol. Daily work for a daily disease. Don’t ever forget your last drunk. Recovery happens with others, through others, sharing stories, sharing the reality of a disease that people who don’t suffer from it have a hard time wrapping their heads and hearts around.
Sometimes we need the reminders of the depths of despair we experienced. We need to continue learning about this very cunning disease and how to get help beyond ourselves. Thankfully, that help is available to each of us, and within each of us. Which takes me to the wonderful quote by Anne Lamott at the start of this post. Grace brought me to recovery, with the help of others and a loving and patient Higher Power. It has brought me places I couldn’t even have imagined in my using days.
The bad news is alcoholism is progressive and becomes fatal. The good news is that recovery is also progressive, and becomes life-affirming. Onward! A day, an hour at a time.
